


magnus mocha (and assorted shenanigans)

by tooschoolforcool



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Jonathan Sims Has ADHD, Lesbian Melanie King, M/M, Meet-Cute, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Trans Martin Blackwood, as in there is a significant lack of spooky stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:26:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24072907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooschoolforcool/pseuds/tooschoolforcool
Summary: Martin’s life was fine- sure, he get along less than roses with his mother, and his romantic life left a lot to be desired, but he loved the small coffeeshop he worked at and the homey environment of Magnus Mocha. Then a Starbucks moves in across the street, bringing the most fierce coffee competition he’d ever seen, along with an irresistibly cute and extremely irritable barista.Jon’s life was fine- he was 26, still working as a barista, absolutely wasting his degree, but it was better than nothing. When he's transferred to a new location, he expects nothing to change, but the tiny coffee place across the street won’t stop picking fights with them, and Jon is determined to win. Even if that weird barista won’t stop being nice to him as an obvious tactic. He won’t fall for it.
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Comments: 36
Kudos: 184





	1. a coffeeshop au in 2020? it's more likely than u think

**Author's Note:**

> i am... very excited about this... we will ignore how many unfinished fics i have.......... i want to write gay coffeeshop chaos....

“A  _ Starbucks? _ ” Sasha whirled, staring Martin in the eye. “Are you  _ serious? _ ”

“Um… yes.” Martin glanced around at his coworkers for backup. Daisy shrugged at him from her position leaned against the nearby fridge, and Basira raised an eyebrow over the book her nose was buried in. Apparently it was him against the world. “They just moved in across the street.”

“That means competition, that means we’ll have to see what they put their prices at, what events they set up- what their busiest times are-”

“It’s a Starbucks, the prices are the same everywhere-” Martin attempted to break in, to stop Sasha on this bullet-train of thought, but she was not to be deterred.

“One of us has to go over there. To check it out.” She looked around at her employees, frowning to see no eager volunteers. “Guys! Gertrude is going to lose her mind when she comes back if she sees us losing business to a  _ chain _ , of all things!”

“Oh, when Gertrude returns from her five month long vacation?” Basira offered dryly, and Martin hid a smile. Sasha’s eyes flashed and she put her hands on her hips.

“She left  _ me  _ in charge, Basira. That means  _ I  _ have to make sure no one runs Magnus Mocha into the ground while she’s away!” Sasha was growing more agitated by the moment, and Daisy leaned forward, clapping a hand on Sasha’s shoulder.

“Sash. I’ll take Martin over there and check it out. Alright, Martin?” Martin nodded quickly, and Sasha sighed in relief, smiling at Daisy. She always had a way of stepping in at the precise moment someone needed a voice of sanity, specifically when Sasha or Martin worked themselves into a nervous frenzy. Martin was mainly glad there hadn’t been any drama when Gertrude chose the youngest employee as her temporary replacement, as Daisy and Basira both had more experience, but it seemed the two agreed they had no interest in the more managerial side of Magnus Mochas, and it had been left to Sasha to organize weekly book clubs and spend hours on the seasonal displays. Martin helped.

“Want us to go now?” Daisy asked, turning to grab her jacket, and Sasha bit her lip.

“If you wouldn’t mind?” She made it rather clear she would, in fact, like them to go now, but wasn’t fond of ordering them about. Daisy nodded, leaned in to peck Basira on the cheek, and turned to offer her elbow to Martin with a grin. 

“Shall we?” 

This was a temporary job for him. He would work here until he got sick of it, then find something better paying.

Martin had been working at Magnus Mocha for two years. He was going to leave, he was, just not any time in the near future, perhaps. The meager amount he made was funneled directly into his mom’s medical bills, without much left over to afford a period between jobs, and he didn’t exactly have many qualifications as it was. He had grown to love working there as well, everything from the scent of ground coffee beans in the air in the mornings as he watered the plants scattered around the shop while the 6 am light began to trickle in, to the extreme satisfaction as he finally nailed a perfect latte foam. His coworkers, as well, had become close friends of his over time, as he’d gotten used to Basira’s sarcasm, Daisy’s bark but lack of bite, and Sasha’s driven (occasionally overly so) passion for making Magnus Mochas the best coffee shop possible. The lack of a ‘real boss’ around had led to an interesting behind the counter dynamic, but their customers seemed to enjoy that the baristas felt more like friends offering coffee as hospitality than uber-professional robots. Like a certain competitor Martin could name.

He had to hurry his pace to keep up with Daisy’s as she walked briskly across the street, his height giving him no advantage. She noticed without him having to speak up and slowed, pulling her hood up to protect from the slight drizzle in the air. 

“So what insidious plans do you think Starbucks has for us?” Daisy asked, shooting a grin at him, and he shrugged.

“I mean, I’m assuming- right off the bat- missiles?” She laughed, stepping over a puddle and up onto the pavement outside of the brand new Starbucks. Martin took a second to look it over.

It was a Starbucks. None of the quiet charm of their old building, but a sleek exterior, tiny interior, and the routine counter and chain signs. The exact same as you’d see in any Starbucks like it. 

The only notable feature was that this was a noticeably smaller Starbucks than normal, enough space for just two tables inside for seating and two or three employees. It looked mainly empty with the exception of a shape manning the counter, but Martin couldn’t make out their features. Daisy shrugged, pulling open the door and holding it open for Martin, who stepped through.

Inside, he could see the man who stood behind the counter. He was short, with mussed short dark hair, and wore an irritated expression, seemingly mid-argument with someone Martin couldn’t see. As he approached the counter, the argument grew louder, and he could make out the words. 

“- _ honestly _ , anyone could see that that’s shopped footage. Thought you were better than that-”

“ _ UFOs _ , Jon! Real UFOs!” A woman holding a phone poked her head into view from the employee room, wearing black lipstick and a huge grin. “That means aliens.”

“Nowhere in the acronym is there anything suggesting aliens, simply that they’re as of yet unidentified, which is not synonymous with-”

“Welcome to Starbucks, how can he help you?” The woman broke off abruptly, smiling at Martin and Daisy, and pulled her head back out of sight. The man on the other side of the argument- Jon, Martin had heard her say- sighed, and glanced up to meet Martin’s eyes.

“Can I take your order?” He asked, his tone put-upon, and Martin nodded.

“Um- yeah, hang on- sorry, one second, please.” He fidgeted, tapping his fingers on his leg. The man in front of him was absurdly nice to look at, all dark eyelashes and delicate features, even if he looked a bit like he hadn’t slept in a few. 

“I’m ready. Americano, please.” Daisy stepped forward, and Martin gratefully took the extra second to inspect the menu. Exactly like he expected- the same as every single Starbucks he had ever been to in his life. 

Jon slid the cup with her order written on it onto the bar, then turned his attention to Martin, who froze.

“Ah- could I have a latte- vanilla, I mean, sorry. The medium, 16 ounce- is that what you call them? Grande? Whichever one is medium? A medium vanilla latte. Please. Sorry.” Martin got out in a rush. There was a beat of silence where Jon simply looked at him appraisingly, and then he abruptly turned to walk away from the counter to begin to make Daisy’s drink.

“Melanie, come help this customer,” he called into the back, and Martin bit his lip as the woman he had seen a minute earlier stepped back into view, pointing the end of a pen at him.

“Repeat that, faster?” Melanie asked, in a nicer tone than her coworker had used, and Martin obliged. He could hear Daisy laughing at him quietly and chose to ignore it. It wasn’t his fault the barista was cute, honestly, how was he supposed to avoid stuttering when the man looked like that?

Martin spent the entire drink preparation time stealing glances at the barista. His nametag read ‘Jonathan’, and he could hear Melanie call him Jon once or twice, so he was confident he’d learned the correct name for the man. 

Daisy didn’t seem to notice just how many looks he had shot at Jon, tapping on her phone and glancing around the shop once or twice. It didn’t look like they had much to tell Sasha, other than the expected- it was a Starbucks, it had bathrooms, people worked there. The interior was all stock images and glossy magazine worthy nature shots, nothing like the hodge-podge of stickers, Polaroids, and newspaper clippings that was the inside of Magnus. There weren’t even any plants, or any personal touches of the sort. 

“Have a nice day,” Jon said as he set down their drinks, in a tone that said quite clearly that he didn’t much care what they did. Daisy did that smile she did where it looked equally like she was being friendly and baring her teeth, and Martin tried his best to balance her out with a warm smile of his own. Jon looked distinctly unimpressed at the both of them.

“Well. Their customer service is clearly top-notch,” Daisy said quietly as they left, sipping her drink. Martin gave a small laugh, glancing behind them. Melanie gave him a small wave as he closed the door. 

“Sasha will be pleased, it doesn’t seem like they’re much interested in taking our business.” He gestured towards the amassment of customers already inside Magnus Mocha, spotting a couple regulars within them and making a mental note to say hi. Daisy smiled at the sight of Basira behind the counter, tucking a pen behind her ear as she talked animatedly to one of the customers, and Martin took a moment to be thankful they had finally just told himself and Sasha they were dating instead of pretending they were doing a good job at hiding it. Daisy always assumed she was more subtle than she actually was. 

“Looks like no fierce coffee competition after all.” She shrugged, making her way back inside Magnus and towards the door leading to the employee section. Sasha was organizing the most recent box of book donations into genre, readying them for the shop’s small ‘take a book, leave a book’ library. She looked up eagerly as she heard Daisy, scanning their faces for news.

“It’s a normal Starbucks. I don’t think it’s going to be much competition.” 

“Oh, thank goodness. Okay. Well that’s good then!” Sasha beamed at them, and Martin returned her smile. It was nice sometimes to have someone around who seemed to get enthusiastic about things. Daisy tended to give off an air of being perpetually unimpressed, and he still couldn’t read Basira well.

“I suppose that’s the last we hear about the new place,” Basira called from wherever she was apparently in earshot, and Martin nodded in agreement. He couldn’t help thinking that it was quite a shame he wouldn’t find himself speaking to that cute barista again. 


	2. meet-cute, but jon immediately ruins it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is inspired by my months as a barista at the most chaotic college coffeeshop in the world, 8th note, where i was the office mom for a semester and helped create our most popular drink, the ‘be gay do crime’

“So you’ve resorted to orbs now.”

“No, no-” Melanie was laughing before she could even get the words out, and Georgie rolled her eyes affectionately from where she was perched on top of the counter. The coffeeshop was empty except for the two of them and Jon himself, it being too late in the day for most people to want their caffeine fix. 

“It’s a dust fleck, Melanie.”

“But look at the way that it’s  _ moving _ , Jon.” She held up her phone again, and he sighed as he watched the dust particle once again travel across the screen. He shook his head, ever the skeptic. “You’re hopeless. Nothing will ever convince you,” Melanie said, exchanging a look with Georgie, who smiled. 

“Leave Jon alone, Melanie, he doesn’t get that you’re messing with him. Jon, you’re right, it’s a dust fleck. Can we actually clean the espresso machine now? Please? Look, I’m wanting to do work, that’s the point I’m at.” She hopped off of her perch, adjusting her apron, and was interrupted by Tim’s extremely loud arrival as he slammed open the door, almost knocking the bell off as he did so.

“I fucking hate my life!” He announced, as loudly as he could manage, and Melanie rolled her eyes.

“How are you, Tim?” She called, and he threw himself aggressively into a nearby chair.

“We literally  _ just  _ opened. We all  _ just  _ transferred here and that  _ bitch _ Elias is already sending us seasonal directions and telling us what decorations to put up and there’s going to be a  _ secret menu _ ?” 

“Oh, fuck.” Melanie sighed, and Jon looked around.

“Is that- what’s wrong with-”

“Wait until people start making up secret menu drinks, and you have to be the one to tell them you can’t believe everything you read on Instagram,” Georgie explained, pursing her lips as she thought about the ramifications. 

“Is Elias purposely trying to drive us all to quit?” Melanie theorized, and Tim shook his head.

“He’d show up more often if that was his gameplan.” 

“I still don’t- what’s wrong with all this, exactly?” Jon asked, glancing from face to face. 

“I forget that you’re new to our lovely little Starbucks family, Jon,” Tim started, and ignored him as he tried to interrupt. “Yeah, I know, you’re just new to this branch, not in general, but you don’t know the ins and outs of our dear manager. We all worked together with him at the last store we were at, before this one opened. You see, he works here,  _ technically _ , but he will never, ever show up in person, only send us a shit ton of work, usually unnecessary, and it will always be pointless, and we will always hate it.”

“Why don’t you just-”

It was Melanie’s turn to interrupt. “Not do it? Because he will know. We don’t know how, but we know it isn’t any of us three telling him- us four, now, unless you prove to be a traitor to the cause- and we know he will always, always know if we don’t follow his bullshit directions.”

“So. I hate my life. Et cetera. Someone help me put up Christmas decorations in fucking October. Halloween hasn’t even happened yet, but of course Elias is going to pretend it’s over because he  _ hates joy _ -”

“Tim, I’ll help, calm down.” Georgie hopped down from the counter, bumping shoulders with Melanie as she did so. The three of them worked in tandem, having apparently been shuffled from store to store together through the course of three years now, and Jon was struggling to find where to fit in- especially with Tim working odd hours, fitting his schedule in around classes, it seemed his job consisted of third-wheeling Georgie and Melanie and having Melanie attempt to convince him of her latest ridiculous obsession with aliens or ghosts or Babadooks. 

He liked being a barista for the actual job of it, the adrenaline when the line grew long and his focus kicked in, but the downtime was almost insufferable. At least at his old location, no one talked to him. Now, they were attempting to be friendly, and it only served to make him resent this new location more and more. He couldn’t distract himself or make time pass by with his own little projects, scrubbing out old cabinets in peace, because the location was too small and new to have had projects pile up yet, and he couldn’t think of one single thing he would want to talk to his new coworkers about. 

“Did he say anything else he wants done?” Melanie asked, craning her neck to try and read the printout Tim was carrying.

“He wants someone to go over and check out that place across the street, too, our competition.” Tim sighed, reluctantly standing up. 

“Not it.” Melanie said immediately, and Georgie nodded with her.

“You and me, Jon, okay with you?” 

Jon nodded. It didn’t seem like he would be left much choice either way, and it was a chance to break up the boredom of standing here waiting for something to happen.

“Welcome to Magnus, how can I- oh! It’s you!”

The man on the other side of the counter was tall, kind-looking, with a smile already on his face. Tim liked the sight of him immediately. His sour new coworker seemed to feel differently, based on the scowl he was already wearing.

“Could I see your tea menu, please,” Jon said in a monotone voice, looking irritated at the whole situation. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course! Shouldn’t- shouldn’t you be making your own? Don’t you work at the new place across the street?” The man asked, and Jon went to spit out yet another rude retort. Tim left him to it, glancing around the inside of the place.

‘Magnus Mocha!’ a large sign declared, accompanied by a smaller painted canvas underneath reading ‘Just Magnus if you’re nasty’. Photos, artwork, Polaroids, anything that could be taped to a wall had been taped to a wall, dotted here and there with whiteboards or chalkboards, tapestries hung at odd angles, plants hanging off of hooks put in the ceiling seemingly at random, and more charming clutter at odd angles and in odd spots.

It was the complete opposite to their pristine new location across the street. People had been coming here for decades, it was obvious in the thickness of the papers lining the walls, the etchings in the tables, even how comfortably all the employees moved around the crowded and confusing space. The building had used to be a library or something of the sort, with shelving units still standing in odd places and filled with plants in the middle of walkways or walkways in between hanging plants. It was much larger than Tim had expected, with studying tables further in, hidden from view on the street. 

A tall girl with long braids hanging framing her face was watering one of the plants, humming to herself as she did so. She turned, and as she did so Tim could read ‘Sasha’ in bright yellow bubble letters embroidered on her apron, along with many bright patches and pins dotted here and there. 

“Hey! First time in Magnus?” She asked him, and Tim took a moment to realize she was talking to him. She was beautiful, dark eyes crinkled in a smile that was all teeth, and he blinked at her for a moment before remembering how a conversation worked.

“Uh, yeah! I work across the street, actually.” Remember how to be normal. Remember how to be normal. All of Tim’s usual charm was gone in the face of being actually interested in the person he was talking to. “I’m Tim, nice to meet you.” He held out a hand, and she shook it, still smiling.

“Sasha. Pleasure. I think that means you’re the enemy, actually.” Her grip was strong, and Tim found himself breaking the handshake first, hiding a wince. “Hope you’re ready for a good fight.”

“I’m sure you’ll put up one.” Tim retorted automatically, returning her smile, and Sasha’s eyebrow raised slowly.

“Careful, Tim, that sounded like we’re starting a competition!” She mimed surprise, and Tim couldn’t help laughing.

“Watch out, Magnus, we have overpriced frappuccinos. You better be careful!”

“I am absolutely shaking in my boots.” Sasha grinned at him, and Tim remembered suddenly that there was someone else with him. Sasha seemed to notice her employee being berated by his own about the same time he did.

“Jon, leave the poor guy alone!” Tim was saying before he even turned, and was met with the sight of Jon wearing an almost petulant expression, and the man on the other side of the counter looking very put-out.

“What is going on?” Sasha made eye contact with the Magnus barista- his nametag read MARTIN in scrawled all caps, Tim noted- and Martin scowled at Jon.

“Apparently, our menu’s comedy is ‘derivative, low-brow, and positively childish’.” He mocked the tone Jon had apparently used, and Tim was not surprised in the least. He shot Sasha an apologetic look, and then aimed the same look at the barista.

“I’m sorry, ah, Martin? I’m Tim, I work with Jon, and yes he is this unpleasant to everyone. Jon, could you possibly apologize to Martin here for insulting him and his business? For no goddamn reason?” Jon looked ready to argue, but at Tim’s tone and expression, took a breath.

“I apologize.” He got out. Tim nodded, waiting for him to continue. Jon was not forthcoming.

“Well!” Martin huffed, and Sasha shot Tim a questioning look. He internally cursed Jon, whoever hired him, and whoever dropped the awkward teenager on his particular Starbucks. He and Georgie and Melanie were the perfect team- not only did he already know them from school, they’d been friends years, but they’d been nothing but nice to Jon, who’d rewarded them with vitriol and annoyance at every olive branch they’d extended. It did ease his mind slightly to see that Jon was like this with everyone, although it made him dread getting to know the other man further.

Tim glanced up at the menu- it had a myriad of coffee themed puns, jokes, and pop-culture references. Since Jon seemed to hate fun, it only made sense it seemed to have carried over to his hatred of their menu.

“I, personally, think it’s hilarious. Jon. Perhaps it’s time for you to order or leave.” 

“Order! No, I think we’re rather beyond that!” Martin protested, still looking offended, and Tim could hardly blame him. “I think we’re at the ‘or leave’ part of this interaction!”

“Fine!” Jon whirled, still wearing a scowl, and stalked out of Magnus and back across the way to their Starbucks. 

“ _ Asshole _ !” Martin was a bright pink color, and Sasha put a hand on his arm, visibly calming him. 

“I really am sorry about him, he’s just… like that.” Tim offered, cutting his eyes to Sasha, who luckily looked more amused than angry.

“If you have him manning the counter, then I suppose I don’t have to worry much about you stealing our business, huh?” She raised an eyebrow, and Martin seemed to forget about Jon in favor of shooting Tim an appraising look.

“You work at Starbucks?” He asked, curious, and Tim nodded.

“I’m the manager, actually, just got transferred to that store.”

“He’s Tim,” Sasha added, “our fierce competition.”

Tim watched as a shorter woman with an undercut sent him an appraising look from where she was steaming milk at the nearby bar.

“Don’t flirt with the enemy, Sash,” she called, and Sasha shot her a glare, glancing at Tim to see his reaction. He carefully schooled his features into a neutral expression. Was she flirting? With him? No way. 

“You have no idea. The battle of a lifetime.” Tim grinned at her widely, doing his best to hide all hints of nerves. She was funny and beautiful and he could feel his heart pumping twice as fast as normal. 

“I’m Daisy, nice to meet you, stop distracting our lovely manager from her job.” The woman at the bar chimed in again, leaning her chin onto her elbows. Tim noted that her name tag definitely read Alice, but chose not to point it out. She had needle sharp eyeliner and a tough expression, looking decidedly unimpressed with every aspect of Tim she had seen so far, and Tim found himself suitably cowed under her stare.

“I should be heading back, she’s right.” Tim jerked his head at Daisy. “Nice to meet you, by the way.” 

“Charmed!” She gave him a thin-lipped smile and turned her attention back to her work. Tim caught the message.

“It was great to meet you, Tim. Looking forward to watching your sales plummet.” Sasha sent another gorgeous smile his way and Tim leaned forward, looking up at Sasha and batting his eyelashes dramatically. 

“So glad to have such a worthy opponent. I only hope you take mercy.” 

Sasha laughed, and Daisy rolled her eyes, sending another piercing glare at Tim, who gave one last wave at Sasha as he left Magnus Mocha. Magnus, apparently, if you were a regular.

And he definitely intended on becoming one.


	3. s1 jon is neatly summed up in the word 'sour' and so i will not stop using it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am wine drunk before noon. here is the chapter. no ragrets
> 
> any time you think ‘wow this is unrealistic for a coffeeshop’ just remember almost ALL of it is based entirely off of my real life experiences working at a coffeeshop so i refuse to be called out. i will PROVIDE RECEIPTS i was a barista at one coffeeshop while simultaneously being manager for another you can’t even touch my coffeeshop au

“Melanie, please.”

“What? I can’t hear you!” She called, boiling out the water pitcher under the steamer just to add to the commotion. Music already blared from every speaker, a Mitski song that seemed to be so loud Jon could practically see the noise. 

“I already said I’m so-”

“Still can’t hear you!” Melanie shot him a wide smile, then whirled around to return to the staff room, and Jon groaned in frustration. He had no idea the latest amateur video on paranormal nonsense she had shown him had been made by her, honestly, if she had told him beforehand he would have kept several of his comments to himself, and he’d been trying to study for over an hour now only to be interrupted every minute or so by blasting music or the loudest noises Melanie could produce. 

“You know she was literally only trying to be nice to you.” Tim called from behind the counter, and Jon sighed, letting his forehead fall onto the desk, his forearms breaking his fall. He did know that. He had been wishing she would stop, but apparently nice Melanie was much preferable to a pissed off Melanie.

Georgie had already scolded him, in her sort of way where Jon felt like a chastised child, about how she didn’t know why he had such an attitude but if he kept it up she would resign from her current volunteer position as the only one standing up for him to the others. He told himself he didn’t care, but he knew he would miss the quiet conversation he and Georgie enjoyed when they were on shifts together, Georgie showing him all the recipes she’d invented over the years two by two as they each made their one free shift drink. Jon made a solid effort to actually apologize to Melanie, and attempted to get along with Tim. Georgie had been more appreciative of his apology than Melanie had. That woman could, apparently, hold a grudge.

“Fine! Fine! Tim, I’ll be back before my shift starts.” Jon gathered his books and papers into his bag, his eyes swimming at the sight of all the papers he still needed to read through. This library science essay would not write itself, and he was not going to finish his freshman year of university with anything less than a 4.0. 

“Good riddance!” He heard Melanie call from the back room, and then the distinct sound of Georgie’s scolding from behind him as he pushed open the door and stepped into the October chill. 

Jon hadn’t quite planned out where to go from there. His apartment was too far to catch a bus and make it back to Starbucks in time, which was the reason he was studying there in the first place, and there weren’t any restaurants nearby he could loiter in without paying exorbitant amounts of money for an extraordinarily little amount of food.

This left approximately one place nearby he could study for cheap, be relatively undisturbed, and that was close enough he could easily be behind the counter by the time he needed to be. Jon resigned himself to spending an hour or two at Magnus Mocha.

Pushing the door open, the scent of fresh bread hit him immediately, and he glanced around at the warm interior. Someone had been decorating for Halloween, and he was luckily short enough to not have to duck as a skeleton on a wire went rocketing at his head.

“Sasha, I  _ told _ you it would take someone’s head off, we need to take it down!” He heard someone yell from out of sight, and a loud scoff in reply from behind the counter.

“Look, he’s fine!” Jon caught sight of the same woman Tim had been flirting with when he had come in a week ago, and took a moment to be thankful that it wasn’t the man he had inadvertently angered the last time he’d been here. He hardly could see how it was his fault that the man had taken his criticisms of the menu quite so personally, but Tim had been quite irritated with Jon after the whole incident, and he would like to avoid angering anyone else if he could.

He chose to tune out the ongoing argument from behind the counter in favor of scanning the menu. Almost every other item on it had an almost incomprehensible title, his biggest issue with the place right off the bat- how on earth were you supposed to order anything if you couldn’t read the menu?

“Need some help?” A woman in a floral head scarf leaned over the part of the counter nearest to him, and Jon spotted her nametag: it read ‘Basira’ in neat handwriting.

“Is there some sort of translation guide for the menu?” He asked, doing his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but some crept in anyway. 

“Was considering making one, actually, but no. I can answer any questions you have.” 

“Babelfish?” Jon asked, pointing at a word at random.

“If you order in a language that isn’t English, we give you a dollar off.”

“No me gusta?” He raised an eyebrow. It seemed counterproductive to have a drink that advertised its unlikeability. 

“We pour whatever random ingredients we have into a cup. If you can drink the whole thing, you get another drink of your choice for free.” She smiled as she spoke, more a customer service reflex than at him, tapping a pen on the counter absent-mindedly. Jon couldn’t help but think that all of this was quite ridiculous. Wasn’t it alienating, to have a menu made up seemingly entirely of inside jokes?

“So how do I order a plain black coffee?” He asked, expecting some nonsense about needing to solve a complex math equation or the like, and was surprised to see her laugh.

“You use your words. You don’t have to order off of the menu up there, you know, it’s just for laughs.” Basira looked behind him as the door opened, and her smile brightened as she gave a small wave. Jon glanced behind him, and immediately cursed himself at his luck.

“Hey, Basira! Are- oh. You’re back?” The man from the week before was standing behind him, looking unimpressed to see Jon standing there. 

“Ah. Yes. I needed someplace quiet to study.” Jon offered, attempting not to say anything that could be construed in a negative way. He seemed to be an expert at managing to be contrarian even when not attempting to do so. 

“Suppose that’s fair enough. P-planning on being a right prick to my coworkers too?” His tone was firm, but the slight stutter betrayed nervousness Jon wasn’t expecting. 

“No, of course not, I- I really am sorry. I suppose I could’ve handled myself much better.” Jon offered, and the man looked somewhat mollified.

“I suppose so too. I’m Martin.” Martin stretched a hand out, and Jon shook it, somewhat astounded. That was much swifter forgiveness than he had expected, but perhaps he was simply used to Melanie.

“Jon.” Martin’s hand was warm and soft in his, his grip firmer than Jon expected, and he was surprised still further at the small smile Martin offered him.

“Let’s start off on a better foot, yeah?” He said, stepping past Jon to weave his way through the shelves and disappear into the staff room. Basira raised an eyebrow at Jon.

“What’d you possibly do to upset Martin? Never seen him that pissed.” Jon attempted to discern if Basira was joking, and was relatively certain she was, at least to some extent. He didn’t seem still pissed, in Jon’s eyes, but he wasn’t often good at understanding social cues or emotions or other nonsense like that. 

“My questions about the menu when I was last here were phrased in a- a possibly too pointed manner,” he said, hoping that was sufficient enough of an explanation. “Could I have a black coffee, please?”

“Course.” She turned to fill the cup and Jon stole another moment to look around, catching sight of Martin talking and laughing with the woman Tim had been flirting with- Sasha, he thought her name was?

He was cute, that was undeniable, and Jon forcibly shoved any untoward thoughts out of his head. He’d already ruined Martin’s opinion of him, that much was clear, and that didn’t bother him in the least. Why would it? He didn’t know the man, and had no interest in him.

“I can’t believe he’s back in here. Why?” Martin said quickly to Basira after Jon had found his table, spreading out papers and books over it and making it clear the seats around him were not available for the taking. The two sat at a small table in the staff room, with a view of the counter, in case anyone walked up while they took their break.

“I don’t know, he’s okay. He was funny,” Basira offered, and Martin scoffed, stealing another glance at the odd barista. He was simply stand-offish and a bit rude at their first meeting, but at their second he had been quite more than a bit rude, and now he would come directly back in here only the week afterwards? He was either oblivious or had some guts. Martin had made amends with the man, sure, but he could still be wary.

“Funny? Hardly how I would describe him.”   
“How would you describe him, Martin?” Daisy asked sweetly from where she had walked up behind him. “Handsome, dashing-”

“Daisy, if you don’t-”

“Don’t tease him,” Basira scolded her girlfriend, leaning back to accept the kiss Daisy pressed to her forehead. “It’s not Martin’s fault he has a thing for boys who look like they need to sleep for a week.”

“Both of you? Where’s Sasha when you need her?” Martin sighed, fidgeting with his nametag. Basira was too observant for her own good, and of course she immediately told Daisy everything. In a day or two ‘Martin has a crush on the asshole barista from across the street’ would be plastered on billboards, if the two kept teasing him loudly like they had been. 

But maybe he wasn’t an asshole. He had seemed at least somewhat sincerely apologetic, even if Martin wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t just a right prick, and he was certainly cute enough Martin was interested in having another conversation with him as long as he kept his more condescending comments to himself. 

“Whenever you guys are done gossiping about Martin’s love life, I could use some help over here!” Sasha called, attempting to balance a stack of posters in the crook of her elbow from where she stood at the top of a ladder. “Open mic is in a week.”

“Martin, you’re reading your poetry, right?” Basira asked, and he tossed a sugar packet at her. She knew very well there was no way he was doing anything of the sort.

“Serenade that barista of yours,” Daisy added, and he groaned as loudly as he could. Sasha finally took pity on him, climbing down from her perch and gently bopping Daisy on the top of her head with the posters in her arms.

“Leave Martin alone and help me decorate!” He shot her a grateful look, and glanced again toward the counter, attempting to catch sight of the sour faced man who sat somewhere in Magnus still. Basira stood, accepting a few posters, and it seemed the topic had dropped.

Martin was grateful. He had much more important things to worry about than a random man who worked nearby- like attempting to avoid Daisy saying anything more about poetry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raise your hand if you also never have any goddamn idea how to end chapters...
> 
> the mitski song melanie is blasting is the NPR tiny desk concert version of townie, which i listened to on repeat while writing this chapter
> 
> fun fact: the no me gusta was originally apple cider powder mixed with coffee, and i wasn’t allowed to order them because i legit liked the taste and basically found a free coffee loophole. we didn’t change the recipe until i started working there, which is when it became ‘make it as gross as possible’, bc we discontinued the apple cider powder and i am chaotic. one time i made a no me gusta by putting hot coffee, tea, ketchup, mayonnaise, ranch, two taco bell hot sauce packets, a cough drop, sugar, salt, creamer, honey, mountain dew, and some espresso in a cup. this dude drank the entire thing and had the audacity to tell me it was good and he wanted another one.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @diffenbachiae come yell at me to update faster


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